Lane Departure

It’s so weird how, sometimes, God speaks to you at the MOST random times!

I love driving my husbands car. You see, I had a Town and Country minivan when my kids were younger. It had ALL the bells and whistles. I had always wanted a Jeep Grand Cherokee so, when the kids got a little older, I begged and convinced my husband to let me get one! The problem was, I was WAY upside down on the trade-in. Nevertheless, I wanted it! So I downgraded to almost the complete base model just so I could afford it!

My husband recently got a new Honda Accord with ALL THEM WHISTLES! It’s NICE! I still love my Jeep, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes I want to be “fancy like” and drive his car! And he just happens to be kind enough to let me do so. Well, this car…let’s just call her “Betty”, concealing her true identity for her safety :). This car is Sen-Si-TIVE! It constantly thinks I’m trying to cross my lane! I’ll be honest and say probably 80% of the time, she’s right. But still, that 20% of the time I’M RIGHT! 🙂

When I begin to cross a lane, the sensor causes some resistance in the steering wheel.

You can overpower it, but it’s definitely noticeable. The Spirit kind of came over me the other day when the “lane departure” warning popped up and it reminded me of our Christian walks. All of our walks. Now, I understand, I have never been in your shoes, just as you’ve never been in mine. But I guarantee, all of us have lane departure warnings that sometimes we ignore, sometimes we are mindful of, and sometimes we just don’t understand.

God guides us on the right path, His lane, but we control the steering wheel AKA free will. When we are driving in the direction He has for us, there is no spiritual resistance. That doesn’t mean we don’t face trials and have issues that we have to work out. That doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles we have to swerve to avoid at times. But we don’t won’t feel that tug, we won’t hear God saying we are doing it wrong. If anything, we could be correcting the person headed straight towards us, crossing their own lines. Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend”.

God can do great things when you stay in your lane! However, when we start to veer off just a little, God nudges us with His Spirit. If you are a born again Christian, this 100% happens. The bible tells us this in Proverbs 3:6 , “In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.“

Get off the couch! Turn Law & Order – SVU off and spend time with your kids like God’s telling you to do! Stop resisting! (ah-hem…RACHAEL)

Get out of that relationship…don’t give him another chance just because he “looooovvess” you. Stop resisting where God is leading you.

Get out of the bottom of the bottle. You don’t have to stay inebriated just to not feel the pain of your past. Psalm 35:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whos spirts are crushed”. Isaiah 43:18 “Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past”. 2 Cor 5:17 “…anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”. I could go on and on and on… He promises these things to you!

What happens is he gives you that “lane departure” warning. It’s up to you to go against the resistance or to get back in line. James 4:7, “…resist the devil and he will flee from you”.

I‘ll tell you…all week I have been feeling like I’m forgetting something. Does that ever happen to you? You know you aren’t, but you can’t shake the feeling. It’s like straddling the resistance, stuck in lane departure, not being able to straighten back up. So much life happens that sometimes I feel like I’m just straddling…. getting in the word is the best cure! It’s the best “nudge” back over into your lane! HIS lane!

If you go against the resistance, what happens? You wind up in the wrong lane. Should you stay in the wrong lane long enough, you will crash. After a while, you won’t feel the resistance anymore.

There will be too much space…to much CRAP in your way to feel God trying to bring you back on the straight and narrow. You can still get back in line, but it may take a near rock bottom moment to get you back…a crash, a tree, a ditch. Use your imagination here. Try to understand the analogy.

I tested the car a bit. I tried to see how long it would keep the departure warning up if I stayed straight in the middle of the line. What I felt was a little resistance BOTH ways! A little pull to the right, a little pull to the left…

Much like the enemy trying to pull you to the other side but the spirit in you starts fighting and resisting and turning from what the enemy is trying to get you to do. Where do you go? Do you forget which direction is God and which is evil? My pastor once explained, discerning the voice of God goes like this…“If it is helping someone, it’s God talking to you. The enemy will never tell you to help someone.” – Kevin Wheeler

What are you going to do? Where are you? Are you in the right lane. Are you straddling the middle? Are you completely on the other side, about to get hit, head on, not being able to feel God trying to pull you back because of all of the space and CRAP you’ve allowed to get in between you and the life God wants you to live?

Don’t get yourself in the wrong lane. So far that you no longer feel the warnings. That’s where devastation lives.

Think about all of the areas of your life that could be pulling you in different directions. Analyze the distractions and ask God to speak to you about it. Then…LISTEN! Hush…and LISTEN! There’s not point in asking God to speak to you if you aren’t going to listen when He does…and He WILL!

Much love!

RR

21 days and 21 nights

Typically, when I start a blog after having waited so long to post since the previous, I would start by saying “I’m BACK!”, or “It’s ME AGAIN!”, or “Sorry it’s been so long…”.

I’m not the most consistent person. I never have been. It’s a product of letting the enemy use me against myself.  That’s one of the things I’ll share with you in this post.

For the past few weeks, our church has participated in 21 days of prayer. We didn’t plan to fast. However, for the first time in my LIFE, God called me to fast a specific thing for Him.  I have “participated” in corporate fasts before. However, I have NEVER heard clearly from God WHAT to fast. Or even that I SHOULD! Therefore, this will be the only 3 week prayer and fasting period in my 22 years of being a Christian that I actually completed and completed HAPPILY I might add.

This will be a long one so plan accordingly! 😊

I’m going to jump back about four weeks. That’s when it really started for me.

Almost immediately, when the church announced the upcoming 21 days of prayer, God told me to fast meat along with it.  I initially thought I was just talking to myself.  Isn’t that how God sounds sometimes? Like when you’re right in the middle of de-cluttering the things that are in between your listening ear and God’s whisper? Like you’re talking to yourself?  I knew it was God because, if you know me, you know I would NEVER tell myself to give up meat! Sometimes my entire meal consists ONLY of meat! But I was down to clown! I was so overjoyed that for the first time, I felt God was giving me clear direction. Boy was He EVER! I never understood the weight of a fast for Jesus until now. He feels your sacrifice for Him and rewards you!

A few days before the fast, I started consistently writing my prayers down. You might could call it a prayer journal but, I’ll be honest, I write them on whatever paper I find around me so it’s really prayer JOURNALS! At any given time, I probably have at least 6 active journals in my life. Some are at home, some in my car, purse, at work…

I was AMPED UP! My pastors encouraged that I be more specific, less vague, in my prayers to God. So I started doing so. I thought about my kids. Yes I might know what my kids want but I’d like for them to ask me specifically and politely, not just see if I do it without them asking. Furthermore, they may not realize that I’m doing it if they don’t ask first!

First, I asked God to put my feet to service.  I didn’t really know exactly what that meant, it was just something I felt like God was pushing me towards.  I love to serve people and make them happy, I love to help people. But it was something different He was telling me to do and I didn’t, still don’t entirely, know what that meant.

The day before the 21 days of prayer and fasting started, I was asked and able to assist in a memorial for a church member’s father.  Half of our staff from church was set to go to a conference out of town that weekend and they almost cancelled had a few of us not been able to jump in. It is going to sound terrible to say, but it’s one of my fondest memories of helping someone in need. How better to help someone than in their and their family’s time of mourning and grief? Not that I EVER want anyone to experience it, but we all know that it happens.  Now, do I want to have a career change into the funeral business? NO! But it was such an answer to my prayer asking God to SHOW ME what it meant to put my feet to service.

I don’t know about you but a lot of time when I pray, whether out loud or on paper, I feel like God is taking control of what I’m saying.  Like I’ll say it or write it and then pause. Like…WHOA….I didn’t know I felt like that. Or…I didn’t know I wanted that… It’s amazing to me.

I prayed that God would come to me in my dreams. The only time I ever remembered Him doing so was shortly after my Aunt died. He brought her to me in my dreams to show me how happy she was. This time was different. I promise you, the NIGHT after I prayed that, I had a series of dreams.  The one I remembered MOST but LEAST at the same time, was just an image of a double-edged sword with a clear understanding that it was the two edged sword from the bible. It WAS the bible. The other part of that short snippet was God showing me a new definition for my church’s name THOI. The part that I still struggle with is that I could not and cannot, for the life of me, remember what it was!!! It was clear! But it was gone! Still working on that.

A couple of days later, I wrote, “anoint me”, in my prayer. I had no idea what in the world I was asking.  Lo and behold, that very next Sunday, one of my pastors felt called to anoint the hands of those outstretched with oil. ME! I was one of those! To be honest, I still don’t know what I am supposed to do with it but I DO know it’s something BIG! So, stay tuned for THAT!

Fast forward a bit, we (our church) were praying for God to make us uncomfortable and to be READY to pray that! It took a bit but I knew I was ready. So that was the meditation for a while. Not long after, we were invited and decided to go to a women’s conference, put on by an amazing organization. However, the venue was something very uncomfortable for me, at the time.  God was really telling me to attend but I couldn’t understand why God would want me to go there. Well….He was making me uncomfortable.  As a result, I made some good friends, visited with some old friends, and realized that God had really healed some things in me that made me way more comfortable there than I ever thought I would have been. 

I asked God to show me my heart but to fill it with His and do you know what happened? I became forgiving of myself for my heart. What that means is, I’ve always been so insecure about my heart. I hate confrontation, if it happens or if someone is upset with me, I get physically sick over it and recluse.  I don’t like it when people think I have money or possessions greater than theirs. It makes me very uncomfortable when someone compliments me on something. My first instinct is to dumb it down…to dumb MYSELF down. I don’t like when I don’t have empathy for something I feel like I should and sometimes don’t like that I do when I feel like I shouldn’t.  I hate that I can’t hate anyone. Who does that? I shouldn’t WANT to hate, but I hate that I CAN’T hate…For all these reasons and many more, I’ve always just wished I were….different. No longer! God made me. I’m a masterpiece. God needs me to be exactly who I am, feel exactly how I feel, and love exactly how I love.  Everyone is different and that is something to feel BLESSED about, not guilty or jealous or lesser than for.

I’ve prayed for God to let others see Him in me. That’s something I’ve always prayed for. But these past few weeks of prayer and fasting have amplified those prayers immensely. There are several close people in my life that have gone out of their way lately to tell me that I seem different, I’m glowing, I’m growing…. God is working! I’ve had several opportunities at work to talk about Jesus with my coworkers and vendors! That’s never happened. Or at least, I’ve never gone through the open windows!

I’ve prayed God put a hunger in me to know Him more. I, now, can’t go a day without listening to at least one of Steven Furtick’s sermons on YouTube. I love it! I can’t get enough of Jesus!

I’ve prayed for my children – I’ve seen the oldest working on her heart and the youngest nourishing her prayer life!

I’ve prayed for my husband for many different things and by God’s grace, this man joined us at church the last day of the fast! Won’t God do it! 😊

Almost every single day, whatever is on my heart, I wind up hearing about more of it in sermons, songs, etc. It’s absolutely astounding how God works like that!
God has completely taken over my YouTube and Spotify feed…I will denounce the algorithms because it’s all God! He’s been showing me exactly what I need to hear every time I open the apps!

We’ve had prayer nights at church. Quiet, intimate, intentional times of prayer. Praying on our own but with each other. I will never forget, I knelt at the alter to pray and looked around asking God, “I know that you can, but HOW can you listen to all of our prayers at once with your whole heart?”. God simply said, “I AM WHO I SAY I AM”. I smiled. It was so stern but so reassuring that God is everywhere and He is with everyone.  It’s not for me to know HOW. HOW is just a distraction in my acceptance of His love. If I focus on the HOW or even on the WHY, it deters me from HIM. We don’t need explanations, we need affirmations.

God has shown me how a father should love his daughter. I feel it, I accept it, and I am in awe!

I have really struggled with whether or not I should keep writing. I absolutely love it but I have always struggled with the enemy on it reminding me that I have no indication that anyone is reading, that I’m not helping a soul, that I’m not even good at it.  This goes back to what I said in the beginning.  I was praying asking God to ensure the enemy isn’t able to use me against anyone in their lives when God made it clear to me that I was letting the enemy use me against myself in my inconsistency and insecurity with my gifts.  It’s like he slapped me right upside the head, which I could TOTALLY see Him doing! “Quit it, Rachael”.

I now KNOW I’m a good writer! I went back and read some of my blogs from 2020 and, to be honest, I don’t remember writing some of them.  Had I not been on my website, I would have thought someone else had written them and they were GOOD! I’m not boasting, I’m thankful! Thankful that God has given me a gift and proved to me that it is mine! (As far as the 2018 posts…I’m not claiming some of them 😊)

I’m not bragging when I share my story. However, if you’re anything like me, you may have never experienced what it’s like to actively, happily, whole-heartedly participate in a prayer and fast for Jesus. When you’re ready, God will make it clear to you. Just listen to Him and go!  I can tell you I have SO MANY MORE Blog ideas based on things God has shown me and made clear to me these past few weeks. 

I’ve been so humbled by it all. So grateful, so thankful, so in love with God and what He is doing in my life and the lives of the people around me.  I see so many lives changing and so many people growing in faith. I couldn’t see that before. Not because of them, but because there were so many things in the way of me seeing and hearing from God. Those things are gone at the moment! And with all of God’s power, I will not let them get back in the way! I can’t wait to share more with you in the next few months! It’s so good what God is doing!

Bye for now,

RR

WE ARE ALL A WORK IN PROGRESS- the reality about salvation

Have you ever wanted a gift so bad, hinted to everyone, talked about it constantly, maybe even prayed you get it and then….you GOT IT! You FINALLY got it! You open it, so excited….and then realize you have no idea how to use it? The instructions aren’t clear, maybe they are even written in a different language, maybe they are just too “over your head” and you don’t understand? Maybe there are just too many steps….You lose patience….

Salvation is the biggest life change you will EVER go through. Bigger than becoming a parent, earning your degree, losing a limb…. Salvation changes your ETERNITY. That is HUGE. Please don’t misunderstand me to think I don’t feel like salvation is life changing. It absolutely is. But here’s the problem…

Some who are entering salvation, thinking about it, even those who are watching a loved one give their lives to God…FINALLY…after all of your prayers, all of these years… Expect the person/yourself, to make a complete 180 in their lives, be a completely different person. Be perfect. After all, the blood of Christ has washed them clean from their sins and does so every single day. The BIG picture, you are now going to spend eternity in Heaven with our Lord instead of in Hell with satan. that is HUGE! The biggest change EVER! But then…you still see the imperfect person. The same person.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if, once we accept Jesus into our hearts, that happened? We became quintessential, right there, right then? Instant change, immediate turnaround. Instantaneous PERFECTION!

The truth is, the perfect eternal vision you have for salvation is not what happens next. It’s not step 2 after giving your heart to God. It’s not what happens now. It is now what your new, forever, life goal is.

Your expectation now turns into your life’s mission. Perfect eternity, All-knowing faith, side-by-side with God.

You will never meet not one human person who is a perfect Christian. That doesn’t exist.

That’s not how it happens.

Salvation does not perfect, it corrects.

Salvation doesn’t construct a flawless future, it convicts your flawed heart.

The fact of the matter is, it is humanly impossible to focus on the eternal end goal every moment of the day. Being saved doesn’t mean you don’t still have worldly responsibilities nor does it mean you won’t have imperfect impulses, addictions, TEMPTATIONS, desires…

It means that you have replaced your conscience with the conviction of the Holy Spirit.

It is up to you to listen to those convictions, get to know God more and more everyday (Ephesians 1:15-17), be a better person (Acts 11:23-24), stop cursing (Proverbs 4:24) , work on your anger issues (Psalm 37:8) , do all work as if you are working for the Lord (Colossians 3:23)….etc. etc. etc…

It’s up to YOU to listen and work on the areas in your life that need God’s intervention the most!

Salvation is the greatest gift you will ever receive. However, it won’t change who you are on the spot. It starts the change in your heart that works towards God’s plan for your life! Listen and move! Be humble and know the He is God and he’s got this!

Don’t beat yourself up when you realize you will never be perfect. The enemy will use all of those insecurities against you. Arm yourself!(1 Peter 4:1)

Are you allowing your prayers to be answered?

When we pray, we often times ask God for something. Not always, but sometimes. Whether it be something monetary, tangible, or emotional, typically we are always asking Him for something.

I wonder though, are we standing in our own way of receiving answers to our prayers?

I have been praying for God to help me forgive certain people in my life. Praying for the grudge that I want so much to get rid of to just lift, with our without the desire of the forgiven. But am I allowing myself to forgive? I don’t think that I am. I haven’t done anything to move forward and I certainly haven’t been listening for the reconciliation from God…

What are your prayers that you may not be willing to receive the answers to?

I pray to get out of debt, but yet still spend money unnecessarily.

I pray to be well but don’t take the steps to improve my health

I pray to be a better wife and mom but yet still go to bed and watch Hallmark Movies when I should be spending quality time with my family.

I pray for forgiveness from important people in my life but avoid them like the plague.

I pray to forgive but don’t meditate on it after I pray….therefore, don’t work on it when I should be.

I just wonder how often we all are getting in our own way. Getting in the way of hearing, receiving, seeing the answers to the prayers we pray to God every day!

What are some ways we could get out of the habit?

1. Meditate more often. Meditating on our prayers and God’s word keeps these at the forefronts of our mind all day.
2. Get some accountability partners. Find like minded people to share your prayers with to keep checking on you and praying alongside you.
3. Keep a journal. Write things down. Most times, getting negative thoughts out of your mind, out on paper, will make you feel better! If nothing else, scream them outload! Get them out! And don’t let them back in. Find whatever outlet that works best for you.
4. Be descriptive, break down your prayers when you pray. Even the smallest detail needs praying for. We all know God knows our hearts and knows what we are going to pray for before we do. But think of it like this, for you parents…you know when your child is scared, hurt, worried…you know their hearts. But hearing them say these things out loud warms your heart far more than you just knowing that they feel this way. Let God know how you feel. Ask Him for specifics. He likes that. He loves to hear your voice.

Bye for now,

RR

Swiper No Swiping!

Dora, Dora, Dora, the Explorer!!!

OK, I’m really making myself known as the mom from the era of Dora!

Swiper, NO SWIPING! That’s the enemy. That swiping enemy! I talked before about NOT TODAY SATAN! Well, let’s branch off of that right quick.

Man, the devil sure knows when to show up. I’m so glad that my God does too. Now, if I can just maneuver my thoughts around the enemy to ensure I’m staying on track with God.

Every. single.time. I decide to start writing again, the devil swoops on in. That’s how I know that I’m doing something great.

Do you ever have those times where you find and exercise motivation in something that you are passionate about and then you feel like every thought, everyone, every THING is pushing against you?

That’s the devil y’all. I know it sucks and I know it’s hard. I know it’s difficult to assess whether you’re doing something God doesn’t want for you or if you’re doing something God REALLY wants for you. God, if you could just come down real quick and let me know, that’d be great!

I’m emotional about EVERYTHING today! The more I think about my life, my kids, my husband, my writing, my passions…the more my mind starts to go to the trials in the past, the current ones, and my Lord the ones to come. Why does my mind go there? Why does God allow for the enemy to prowl?

The truth is, we live in a fallen world and have since Adam and Eve ate that stupid apple. I don’t really like apples. I wonder if this is why….subconsciously?

2 Corinthians 4:4 (NLT) tells us “Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the Glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God.”

It goes on to tell us in 2 Corinthians 4:6-9 (NLT) “For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.“

What does all of this mean?

Well, in a nutshell, where I like to live :), it means that we cannot stop the enemy from prowling. He prowls on believers and unbelievers alike. But God is still with us. We forget that….I forget that a lot of times. Sometimes I feel like He’s just watching…not helping. But that’s a thought from the devil. Man he gets in my mind…I hate it so much!!!!

Proclaim, OUTLOUD…SWIPER NO SWIPING! The devil knows you’re talking to him. Say it and say it and say it again!

You KNOW you are doing something GREAT when things start to crumble around your path. Clean up the debris, ignore what isn’t good, and press on!

Bye for now,

RR

Starting with Shame

Well, I’m back! What better topic to start with than the one that dims my fire! Everyone has that something, that hindrance, that IDEA that just suppresses their goals, dreams, thoughts. Everyone has that something. Mine is shame. I battle shame every single day of my life. Shame for something. Shame for everything. The enemy knows it…but so does God!

It’s no secret, and I’m not ashamed to say, I see a therapist every chance I get. I seek council from my pastors every chance I get. But do I talk to God every chance I get? No..no, I don’t. Because of shame.

I’ve finally found a tad bit of consistency in doing short bible studies on an app on my phone every morning. 99% of the time, I’ll ready the study before my feet hit the floor. The other 1%, well that, I always assume, is the devil taking the tiny bit of phone service that I actually get at my house and crushing it like the spider I killed this morning. ANYWAYS, it’s really helped me to have those “Ah-Ha!” moments that we all love so much. It’s also helped my mind to at least START the day in the right setting. It doesn’t always stay there. Today was a perfect example. As I really thought hard about re-opening this blog and what all I could share and reflect on, my mind went into, “wow I’m getting fat again”. “wow, I’m such a failure at my health”. “Really Rach, who would want to listen to you again?”

I caught it after about 2 minutes. Which seems like a short time but this mind can go some deep dark places in those 2 minutes. I knew, right then, I had to start writing again. The devil figured out what God was doing and did what he always does. He brought the shame back into my thoughts. There’s that cliche saying, “Not Today Satan!” that’s on everyone’s clothes and meme’s these days. But it’s true. One day at a time and NOT TODAY SATAN!

So in my reflections the past month or so, in my studies, my prayers, my GOOD thoughts…God gave me the best revelation He ever has. Now I can’t put this in some catchy sentence that sums it all up in those few words so you’re just going to have to bare with me and read a little longer. You’ll be alright. It’s OK, I don’t like to read either 🙂

We know that God is all-knowing. Definition…He knows it ALL! He KNEW it all…He’s KNOWN all, He is ALL-KNOWING.

OK, now that we’ve established that, let’s pair that with the shame that we (I) feel when it comes to our sin. Our constant, imperfect, unnecessary, embarrassing, SHAMEFUL sin.

It’s like God came down and talked to me but I never heard His voice or saw His face. He said, “I am all-knowing. I knew you would do that. I knew you would say that, act that way, refuse that, run away from that, all that….I knew that.”

Then it got me thinking. In the highest places I’ve been in my life, when I felt God’s presence more than I ever had and I knew that He loved me and I felt it and I was PROUD that He thought I was worthy to be loved…God knew I would do all of those things that bring me so much shame every day. The things I would do, how I would act, etc. etc. etc. as a mom, a friend, a daughter, a wife that would and DO bring me so much shame in my mind that I completely recluse and hide in embarrassment of who I am, what I did…He already knew and I STILL felt his presence all around me, I STILL felt so much of his love that my joy would just over flow.

So if God knew, and I still had that high in Him, then why do I let the shame of it make me run from Him? He loved me the then, right? Would you walk up to your daughter and ground her for throwing your phone in the toilet back 12 years ago when she was 2? NO! So God isn’t going to love you less for things that He’s KNOWN you would do before you were ever even you!

I am the WORST about completely running away from the world and from God when I am embarrassed or ashamed. Sometimes I hide for a day, sometimes a month, sometimes even longer. I find myself stuck in my own head, depressed, sad, tired, and I completely stop talking to God. Times like these when I should talk Him more than ever, I block out the option in my head. Like, I have disappointed Him so why would he want to talk to me right now? I do the same thing with my husband. If I disappoint him or disappoint myself as a wife, I hide away and just shut down. WHY? Now, my husband may not have known I’d spend that money or ruin those plans, or whatever it is that disappointed one of us. So I still gotta work on that 🙂

But God KNEW! God is the same God no matter what day of the week it is. So the God who lifted me during those highs, already knew I’d have those lows so WHY? Why do I allow myself to feel so much shame that I run from my life instead of speaking His name?

I’ve been wanting to write a song and have had these lyrics in my head for months now. Just need to be more intentional about getting them all together where they belong. I wrote this line today and I want to share it with you.

“Shame comes from fear of exposing my sin. hiding away just to begin again Nothing changes when you stay in that dark place afraid of God’s face not accepting His grace.”

God works on you when you let Him in. When you identify and dispose of the thoughts that take your mind off what it is God wants you to hear, you’ll hear the truths He has for you and stop being so ding dang hard on yourself. RACHAEL.

Bye for now,

RR

It’s been over 2 years

Wow. June 2018. The last time I wrote on this blog. Since then, I did attempt a new blog, with a new vision. It got blurred. I think it always does. The enemy really knows how and when to get me. 2 years….

I have changed. As one does over time. I am growing, I am being molded, I have become a better me. The past two years have brought trials and chaos that no one…EVER…could have imagined. That’s life, though. Right?!

I’m back. Not back to who I was but back to working towards the goals that I’ve set for myself. Back to intentionality in my growth and back to fighting against the devil with only the armor of God. It’s the only thing that will work!

I can’t wait to start talking to you again! When I do, I’m really talking to myself and whoever gets something out of it, is a plus! Time to start taking back control over who I am and what I love. WRITING!

Bye for now,

RR

This generation

I feel like we, as parents, are so quick to vent to our kids about how they have it so much better than we had it as kids. Or that they should be playing “in the dirt” like we did when we were kids. Or that they don’t have appreciation for the new “simple” things in life. Like we did.

What we are not quick to do is to show them why we loved those things. Or to teach them why those things were imperative to our character. We aren’t quick to get in the “dirt” and play with them. We are not quick to be an example to what we, as parents, want them to “be into”.

I’m not saying I don’t want our kids to grow up like we did. But where is their example? It’s not their fault that they were born into a Godless, lazy, entitled generation of millennials(or whatever they will call them 10 years from now).

It’s OUR fault if we do not teach them the way of the Lord. It’s OUR fault if we do not teach them discipline, structure, and respect for authority, for God fearing adults, and for God, Himself.

Raise a generation of believers. Don’t raise a generation thinking they will find their own way. Praying isn’t enough. Pray and do.

Bye for now,

RR

A Day in the Life (Uncensored)

My day to day can really take me and put me in a cycle of repetitiveness.  It’s the same old same, day after day, with slight changes, but the same beginning and end.  I wake up, take the kids to school, go to work, pick the kids up from school, dinner, bath, guilty pleasure reality shows, bed.  Repeat.  Some days, I choose to do something different.  I ask the husband to pick up the kids, go visit a friend, or two, then go home…dinner, bath, reality tv, bed.  Either way, I’m living the life the Lord has gifted me to live.  So now…..the challenge….yes, I said it…it’s a challenge in its own way….how to live every day fully and for the Lord, according to my standards.

See…there’s a stigma on Christians.  I’ve witnessed it, I’ve thought it, and I’ve heard it.  Christians, to some, are dreamers.  Christians, to some, are naïve.  Christians, to some, even other Christians, ….have it all together.  The perfect portrait of what the Bible tells us that Christians should be.  Bible thumping, Holy Rolling, Disciples of Christ in every sense of the word.  (Palm to forehead emoji insertion!)

Yes….Christians pray to be, and strive to be, sharers of the gospel, examples of goodness, lights of the heavens, followers of God at every second of every day.  But we fail.  Pretty much every day.  We fail at being what those around us look to us to be.  Contrary to popular belief, we are NOT naïve….we are NOT constant dreams and we DON’T always have the perfect catch to the curve balls that this life throws our way.  Our prayers are not always answered in the way we ask them to be.  Our positive outlook doesn’t outlast every trial that we go through.

So today, I write, not to discourage you by bringing the real life up to surface, but to encourage you by letting you know that you are not alone!

Let me take you through a day in MY life…if I may.  I can’t speak for others.  I’m not the best author, I’m not the faithful-est of Christians, I’m not even the best at being who I am…but I am an everyday average Jane that would love for you to breathe a sigh of relief that you aren’t the only Christian that doesn’t have it all together.

Today I woke up, getting over a sinus infection, 20 minutes before we needed to leave for school/work.  I did not pray before my feet hit the floor like I probably should have.  I shot up, went and yelled at my kids to get up, then began pulling myself together.  I did not take a shower….after all….I took one yesterday…doesn’t that count?  I pulled my hair up as neatly of a mess as I could….put together an ensemble(I seriously cannot believe that I spelled that right on the first try) of clothing together that matched…threw on some heels that seriously made me regret even HAVING feet…much less using them, and brushed my teeth.  I then spent the remainder of the 5 minutes we had left to spare at home yelling warnings at the kids to be ready to go, searching frantically and finding lunch boxes….finding that my oldest thought it was perfectly acceptable to leave a constructed ham and cheese sandwich in her lunch box, in her room, overnight, with LITERALLY the last 2 pieces of regular bread we had in the house because I was too lazy to go to the store over the weekend.  Therefore….she got…you guessed it….the two BUTT pieces of bread left in the bag.  Her fault, not mine…right?!  Anyways…we finally get ourselves together and get going.  I drove too fast to get to school…too slow to get to work…and too distracted to even remember driving, to be honest.  It was like I was on autopilot.  I get to work, do my thing, make my sales visits, try not to let the jerk at the security station at the 16^th place I went to make me TOO mad to not still be joyful…but to be honest…I failed.  He really ticked me off with his condescending….nevermind.  Moving on….

So….After the past 10.5 hours…..normally…I would go straight home…dinner, bath, bed.  After all, the day was long.  Sure, I would praise God through my music in the car all day and all the way home….but was I really praising? Or was I just singing?  There are some pretty catchy Christian songs FYI.  And in case you are wondering, yes I do listen to Christian songs all day, every day, because they bring me joy and they bring my God praise.  What could be a better combination?

Instead, I go visit a friend.  Now, you should know…I’ve spent years and wrinkles forming my close circle.  It’s not that I don’t love and adore my family and friends outside of my close circle, but I have been choosy with who I surround myself with the most because, in my experience, it has EVERYTHING to do with my attitude, my morale, my sanity, and my motivation.  Yes, my strength comes from the Lord but for that, the Lord has put few people in my life to kinda “help a brotha out” so to speak.  So…after being sick a few days, missing church, going to sleep instead of doing my bible study, sleeping in too late the Sunday before, etc…..I needed my circle.  I had a great visit.  Lovely!  So much fun, as always!  But you know what the best part was….when she told me how much I meant to her, spiritually.  When she told me that a blog I wrote a year ago popped in her head the other day and taught her something.  When she thanked me for being a light in her life…I mean…wow.  Here I was, having a SUPER mundane blah type of day and she reminded me of why I’m here.  Not only did God put her, and a few others, in MY life to hold me accountable to HIM but here SHE was, reminding ME that God did the SAME FOR HER THROUGH ME! How humbling!  How amazing!  How reassuring…..How God!

I’ve had all the emotions and thoughts today, much like any other day…tired, lazy, groggy, negative, then positive, then negative, then tired again, judgy(at that mean man at security-butthead), lesser than, un-worthy, sad, happy, humble, peace.

So no….Christians do not have it all together.  We try…we never succeed!  There is always something…there are always challenges, trials, just plain old blah moods…and that’s ok!  Don’t beat yourself up for being human.  It’s going to be OK!  Because when you pray…like REALLY pray…and then…wait for it….LISTEN…………….you just might hear God’s response and it’s highly likely to be super helpful.  And if you’re not careful, you just might SEE His presence in your life.  For reals…… Just because you are saved doesn’t mean you won’t sin!  And just because you are forgiven doesn’t mean you don’t still ask for forgiveness!  It’s the life of a Christian.  Christians don’t have a conscience…it’s replaced with the Holy Spirit at salvation.  That Holy Spirit….it’ll getcha!….you won’t get away with much before you hit your knees and beg God to forgive, to guide, to speak, to heal…..you know what I mean!  If you don’t, call me, we should talk!

So today, I want to be real with you, I want to be vulnerable and transparent….I never have all the answers…but I always ask God to shine His light through me.  And today, when my good friend told me that when she thought of my blog and stopped the voice in her head telling her she wasn’t good enough….she heard from God more clearly…and more often….at that moment, I remembered how much God has trusted me and gifted me with discipleship.  I’m here to be a light for others the way that God is a light for the world. If I let today’s or yesterdays or even last month’s troubles effect my spirit or my joy….I’m in DIRECT confliction with what God’s plans are for me…

Literally, if I can change ONE person’s mindset at ONE moment in their life that makes ONE change in their mindset….I have done what God has gifted me to do!  We should all live each day with that goal in mind.  Just be a light to someone else.  That’s it!

I certainly do not have it all together….not even a little bit….but FFH’s song speaks to what my point is tonight…”Lord move, or move me”.  Lord, move the mountain….or help me to do it!

All these “imperfect” thoughts and ideas that popped in my mind today but thankfully, I was still able to work for God.  I’m blessed!  Be blessed!

Bye for now,

RR

Small Beginnings

When I was twenty years old, I was newly married and a new mother.  We barely made $30K a year together and we were young and dumb, but we survived!  We were in our second rental in as many years with just a few dollars to our name, but we survived!  We could barely buy formula for the baby but we survived!  800 sq ft, 3 bedroom, 1 bath house with roaches inhabiting the counters as if they were snow flakes atop Mount Everest, but we survived!

Not only did we survive, but we lived to reach goals, make mistakes, learn from them, take steps forward, take a few steps back, and then forward again.  My ex-husband and I may not be together anymore but we sure reminisce on those years we spent “surviving” with fondness.  That tiny house with ripped floors and holes in the walls.  That 1 bedroom apartment we shared with 2 other adults and 4 kids.  Those “fixer-upper” trucks that backfired so loudly that we parked blocks away from our destination so no one would see what we pulled up in.  They weren’t then but they really ARE fond memories today!

Fast forward a few years.  New husband, another baby, and a bank account that stayed closer to ONE figure than it ever did more than such!  But guess what, we survived!  Life had so many twists and turns and surprised us through every one!  And we survived!  And we appreciated them!

Fast forward some more…and repeat…

Zechariah 4:10 says, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…”.

Life is always going to change.  There will always be struggles of some sort.  Whether it be financial, relational, emotional, etc….there will always be something!  There will always be met goals mixed in with small beginnings.  We should always be learning, growing, and seeking out what God’s got in store for us!  When you reach a goal, it doesn’t mean stop!  It means keep going!  It means, let’s keep doing what God told us to do last time until we hear  from Him what to do next! And take joy in that!  If you’re standing still, you’re going backwards right?!  If you’re unhappy, seek what makes you happy and start working towards that.  Yes, even if it means starting over!

We always feel, at some point, with some area of our life, that we are not progressing as quickly as we feel that we should.  Or we are not as far towards our goal as we had hoped.  Or that we have spent way too much time and effort reaching someone else’s goals…goals that we never had for ourselves in jobs that we never wanted in the first place.  That’s called circumstantial employment….if in your circumstance, that’s the job that made the most sense at the time but isn’t anywhere close to what you want to be doing….start working towards changing that.  Don’t go bankrupt by quitting tomorrow…but start working towards the you that you always wanted to be.  Don’t waste any more time making the best of your worst….instead, how about you work toward the best of your best!

Bye for now,

RR