Letters to Me: Part 1 of 3

Dear Younger Me:

There are no such things as unicorns or talking fairies.  There are no storybook endings or prince charmings riding in on white horses.  You’re mind will change, countless times, pertaining to what you want to be when you grow up and you’ll wind up in a career you didn’t even know existed, much less aspired to be.  A hundred bucks does NOT go a long way.  Pimples don’t STOP forming just because you’re older.  You won’t have as many kids as you want.  You’ll be divorced by the time you are 22 and have a child in a split home.  You won’t really have a relationship with your father whom you used to look up to.  You won’t even remember your closest friends’ names from when you were 10, despite all of those BEST FRIENDS FOREVER claims.

Though there is so much that turns out not to go to plan, there is so much more that makes your life full and wonderful.  Your cup WILL runneth over…it’s just a different kind of cup than you once dreamed.

You will find two of the most amazing men to be the fathers’ of your children.  No…you aren’t a polygamist…It’s just that the high school sweetheart you could not wait to marry wound up being someone you are far better friends with than married to.  Your forever husband was waiting for you just a few zip codes over…He will adore you and you will be head over heels for him! (He’s really cute too! :))

Even though you have to have a hysterectomy at 29, preventing you from having that football team of children, the two beautiful daughters that you WILL have will keep you MORE than busy and your heart will be full to the max with love for them.

All of those days you thought you just could not stand your mom and you were just sure that she hated you…those days are barely even thought about…merely laughed at!  Your Momma becomes one of your closest confidants and your biggest fan.  She has your back through EVERYTHING!

Your brothers that you couldn’t go 6 syllables without having a basic knock down, drag out with become some of the best friends you’ll ever have.  Your sister in law who you were sure was way too good to be friends with you, winds up being your best friend in life, even though you are still sure she is too good for you…you just hope she never realizes it!

The relationship you have with God changes often.  Sometimes the fire dims, though it never goes out.  It’s just that there are times you let the winds and storms of your life get too close to the fire.  Don’t worry, it always grows back, just in different colors and at unexpected times….but with STRONGER coals.  You find out that God doesn’t care if you mark yourself with a certain religion.  He doesn’t care how closely you align yourself with a pastor.  He doesn’t weigh your worth dependent upon how much you’ve tithed, how obedient you’ve been to the people of the church, how little or much you curse, or how often you are in a man made church.  He simply asks that you accept him into your heart as your savior, don’t deny him, be obedient to HIM, and follow Him.  That’s all!  It’s really an awesome and simple gift that he gives to you.  It’s not complicated so try not to make it be.

Your life will become something completely different than what you think.  You cannot even imagine what each day will bring until it’s been brought.  But that’s one of the best things about your life…it’s little surprises.  You learn to appreciate each turn, each trial, each tragedy, each heartbreak….because the experience of it all, especially the steps you take to get through it and come out the other side…it shapes the person that God created you to be!!!!

There are definitely sad days and happy, good days and bad, even some depression up ahead…but God made you and Momma raised you to face this life with faith, positivity, and perseverance.  So far, it’s done you good!

Want my advice?  Don’t second guess your choices or your intuition.  Don’t change anything.  You’re in for a ride-find the fun in it and keep smiling!

It’s a new me…in my old world…

I am a changed woman!  I feel it in every bone in my body and it’s so exciting! I feel like a baby deer learning to walk! EVERYTHING I say or do is coming from a different perspective than before.  From what I watch, what I read, to what I eat, what I say….even what I listen to on the radio…

I’m so eager to find like-minded people and go into deep, meaningful, POSITIVE, powerful conversations with them!  I find myself scowering my friends list to see if anyone JUMPS out at me as possibly being of like mind.  Not in a snobby way, but in a real way.

This is all great and I don’t plan to change this…However, I am struggling because I’m pretty much the only one in my circle who has had this radical mindset shift.  Therefore, I’m hearing the same old stuff coming from the same negative places and I don’t know what to do about it.

I’ve chosen not to invest a lot of time and confidence in some people because I’ve learned, recently, that if you want to shoot down your big dreams, tell them to a small minded person.  That has resignated with me very deeply so I’m being very choosy with whom I share what.  This sounds cocky and rude but I don’t mean it to.  I haven’t stopped loving or caring for anyone in my life.  However, I believe I can go to the next level and I believe that I have to let go of some to get there.

I pray that I can keep this new me.  I believe that I can.  I will!

OAN, I talked to my mom last night.  This is nothing new.  We are super close.  She’s my best friend in the entire world.  I was nervous to tell her a lot of what I have learned.  I am being very careful about what I share and when so as not to overwhelm people or even myself.  She, of course, wanted to hear all about my ah-ha moments!  We had such a good talk.  I fearfully shared with her what I’ve only shared with 2 other humans (my kids!).  I want to write a book.  Maybe several.  I used to love to write and it’s always been relatively easy for me.  My biggest hiccup is my randomness (as you can tell).  Also I’ve always talked myself out of it because I don’t have a degree, I didn’t take a course, I don’t know big words, etc.  I won’t let that hold me back anymore!

I’m working on a plan!  Self publication!  Save money while I write, self-publish, and see what happens!  I’m not looking to get rich.  I’m just looking to be happy and maybe help people!

My topic is raising parents-from the eyes of a teenager.  A book for teens that would help them to “raise” their parents in a way that would improve their relationship and communication!  I feel like parents and teens both would buy this book.  It’ll take a lot of research and a lot of scenario’s but I’m very excited about it!  Mom said she would have LOVED something that like to have existed when I was a teenage nightmare!  That’s another blog post!

Bye for now,

RR

Changing my Mindset

With this being my first blog on this site, I’d like to start with a preface that I have recently had a change of mindset.  I attended a retreat this past weekend that really opened my eyes to what I have been so naive about for the past 29 years, 26 weeks, and 6 days.  <Do the math if you wish to get me a birthday present on my 30th! :)> I won’t get into ALL that I have learned over the past few days but I do want you to know that most of my blogs will be stories of Rachael Richmond PRE BLOWING OF MIND!  Don’t judge me.  Or do. Whatever you wish!

Oh and also…random…I get that my punctuation and grammar isn’t stellar…it’s noted.

It’s insane to me that I literally have gone through my entire life with NO goals.  NONE.  Not for myself anyway….  I am a mom…I have goals for my children.  But what about me?

Someone asked me at the retreat a few days ago, what I did for a living.  I said, you know…I’m in corporate america…but this isn’t what I WANT to do…I explained that I’m a wife and a mom and have had to make money….She said, “well…what do you like to do for YOU?”  ~~~~~~~CRICKETS~~~~~~~~  HOW EMBARRASSING! I kid you not….after a good 10 long silent seconds, I said, “I don’t know….” In this moment, I wanted to crawl under the table.  But the more I thought about it, the more I thought…how EXCITING!  I can be anyone, do anything I want!  It’s like starting from scratch as a child in an imagination fueled world!  So what DO I like to do?  I like to paint…but I SUCK at it….I like to play softball…but I am not good at it…  What do I like to do that I could be good at and maybe, God willing, I could make money at?  That’s the dream.  I’m hoping that by exploring myself throughout the life of this blog, I can answer that question for myself.  I’m bouncing around a few ideas already!

Until then….I want to share!  I feel like I have a lot to say and I am excited for the platform to say it on!  Whether NO ONE reads this or EVERYONE reads this…I still feel better! 🙂

I am confident that, if you don’t already think so, you will soon have a very accurate assumption that I am a random person!  My mind goes to left field now and then but I’ll do my best to reel myself back in when I go too far off topic.

Bye for now.

RR